L.O.V.E. How can a word so small mean so much. How can just four letters, once placed together be the description of feelings so strong? Sometimes when I just stop and look at you I am so overwhelmed with such strong positive emotions, love and pride I could cry so many happy tears.
I remember the day you were born and the days that followed, but 11 years ago this love felt so much different. You were born in the evening and before long Dad had to go home and then it was just you and me. If I am completely honest I was terrified. As the days followed I began to realise that life had changed. A good change but also a scary and daunting one. I was responsible for a tiny human and this was very overwhelming for me. We had so many visitors and so many people wanted to meet you. I wondered how I fitted in to all of this. My emotions were sky high and it felt like everyone loved you more then me. I had only just met you and love is such a big word. What if I never felt like that? Would I be a good enough Mum to you?
Nanny was the one that sat me down and reassured me that all these feelings were completely normal. That it was ok to be overwhelmed, and that I was now a Mother and that my love would grow and grow unconditionally. So as you grew and grew we got to know each other and found our way. She was completely right.
The physical demands of looking after a small human were tiring and challenging and there have been many times that all of your grandparents and Dad have come to the rescue when it has just got too much. Every choice and decision I have had to make for you has resulted in endless conversations with Dad, worrying if I have done the right thing, guilty thoughts and tears. Having you, changed the way I viewed life forever. I am your protector and I love you with every thing I have, completely, totally & unconditionally.
Being your Mum is the most wonderful thing that could have happened to me. There have been tough days in the past and I do not dispute that there may lay tough moments ahead. But, these are such minor moments when you think of the amount of joy you bring to my life.
There are some days when I mutter ‘can my day get any worse’ but just remember that this is a question not a challenge. These are the days where we somehow lose our way and things don't go to plan. Normally there will be tears. These are not our best days and Dad says it is because we are so alike.
However, there are many good days. Positive days. Happy days. Days where I smile from the inside out as my heart glows. These are the days that I cherish. The day that starts with the bright sun shining, the laughter of you and your sister playing, movie nights or a little note left for me around the house that could be as simple as I love you Mum. Thank you of these moments.
Every day I feel so proud of you.
Your first words, learning to sit up all on your own, those first wobbly steps, riding a bike, when you wrote your name for the first time and then the moment you waved good bye on your first day at school. We have so many memories and each day my heart grows for you. Having the honour of calling you my daughter is the best gift I could have been blessed with.
When I look back, I don’t really know where all these school years have gone. School trips, friendship group break ups and the dreaded school run! You have had a mixed bag of experiences going through primary school but these harder moments have only strengthened you to become the person you are today. You are a smart kid Eleni, with a great love for English and just the best dry sense of humour for a child. You were head girl at your school this year too. A great honour and one that made everyone extremely proud, especially hearing how highly your teachers spoke of you.
You have grown up in a world surrounded by love. You are lucky to have all your Grandparents in your life and have the relationship with them all like you do. Them all being here as well as your Dad’s support has meant that I too could follow my path and achieve the opportunities that I too had aimed for. You have grown up watching me work hard and I hope someday you will realise why I did this and learn that anything is achievable if you want it to be.
Now you stand before me on your last day of Junior school. A young lady with so much ahead of her and all ready to start her next journey to senior school. The last few weeks waiting for this moment has been like watching my heart grow legs, then totter off to a new and independent world. I would do anything to have just one more day with you as a little one, yet I am so excited to see you flourish on your next path ahead.
You are the best thing that ever happened to me and my heart fills with pride and love when I see what a wonderful young lady you have become.
My wish for you is that as you grow up into a young woman you always remember how much you mean to me. I hope that you always feel loved, protected and I hope that I am always able to offer you the best opportunities, experience, support, guidance and advice that I can.
Your future is a blank canvas and it is waiting for you to create. You can achieve whatever you set your mind and heart on.
But please just remember how ever old you get…I will always love you to the moon and back